She looked beautiful. I could have held her all day. When the session was over, we took our time saying goodbye. I wanted to just grab her and run. I had to tell myself over and over, this is the best place for her (repeat 10x), convinced yet…I selfishly wasn’t.
I had enough time to shower and get ready after my train adventure…I wanted to take her breath away. i brought her engagement ring to her. She saw it on my hand and immediately said ‘oh! Give me that’. Yes mam.
The verdict is out on her counselor, she focused on important things, but when she asked us our biggest fears. we both said ‘relapse’…she focused on another topic. When we were saying our goodbyes, I asked my love ‘soooo, how much about x,y,and z are you all talking about’, ‘we aren’t’…hmmm. There are core issues that should probably be addressed….I tried soooo hard to be an active listener, very hard for me at times. So, reserving my feedback to the counselor after I have calmed myself and can be constructive and limit my emotion.
I am filled with hope and fear. I don’t like being in this place. I am a bit of a control freak (if you haven’t clued into that yet).
I learned today that there are sponsors for family members in Al-anon? Who knew? Sounds like I need a sponsor too.
Day 5 of Forever – Evening