Sitting in my office, eating lunch, looking at our gloomy Pacific NW skies.
Debating if I should make the drive south to see my love. It’s visiting day…from 545 – 745….and I need to be back here by 830…I would need to leave there by 630ish…hmmm. She doesn’t want me to do it. Says it’s ridiculous to make the long drive especially when I will see her this weekend.
I know she is correct, logically. But, can’t really say I follow logic all-the-time. After all, I think that is a great quality of mine…my gut doesn’t lead me astray. I may not listen to it, but that’s another story. (Probably not such a great quality).
We have been having many discussions regarding my love taking the Vivitrol injection. I am for it. She was against it. She said she would feel the need to challenge it. (She is a stubborn as she is beautiful.) I (not thinking) said ‘that’s ridiculous’…and then she hung up on me. (Remember the fight we got in a few days ago? Well, that’s what happened.) I apologized. Never my intent to hurt her.
But here’s the lesson…logic doesn’t apply.
Does she WANT to be an alcoholic? No.
Does she WANT to have to make life vs. death choices? No.
So easily is it forgotten that this a**hole disease is just that, a disease.
Nobody WANTS it…but what it does…how it deceives…just an a**!
How in gods name is this recovery thing gonna work?
Day 10 of Forever – Afternoon