Day 15 of Forever

There is so much on my mind, and in my heart. These last two days have been hard…really freaking hard.

I have cried a ridiculous amount of times today…a gamut of emotions.

Fear

Rage

Anger

Love

Frustration

Hunger

I had a few ‘ah-ha’ moments this weekend. The most poignant being: you can remove the alcohol from the alcoholic and they will be sober…but unless the alcoholic is working the program, all the other symptoms of alcoholism will be there. The: lying, dishonesty, anger, etc., etc.

So let me rephrase…maybe it wasn’t an ‘ah-ha’, maybe it was an ‘oh shit’.

Another surprise, my love’s patience is growing…a few times over these last two days her patience has been better than mine. When did that happen?

We were able to take a lovely walk around the block. It doesn’t sound like much, but when you are in an environment where cameras follow you everywhere…that block was amazing. Our little bit if heaven.

She was wearing one if her Valentine’s gifts today, a pretty cream shirt, with light coral pants, and a really good hair day!

Full disclosure, I snuck in some Mexican food for her last night…I’m surprised I didn’t have stray cats following me in. I was this sexy aroma of Versace and black beans…I know, I’ll stop the dirty talk.

There are many more things I want to write about, but I am beat. Physically beat. Emotionally beat. And as I write this, crying…again. This whole, my love is in rehab is turning me into quite a *****!

Day 15 of Forever,

– Melanie

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